#December Evenings With Elisa

[moonystoes]

Prom date - Elisa De Almeida x reader (highschool students) pt.3

Summary: It's the day you have been waiting for, except you didn't spend it with your date.

Warning: slight homophobia and bullying (it's paul and his minions smh), too much yap guys im sorry, no kissing nothing it's KILLING ME TOO OKAY? unrealistic corny shit but they're 14 in 2012.

wc: 7.799k

a/n: hey y'all... did you miss me? i want to apologize for this chapter because it's yap and a mess to be honest. but it has been a while since the last time i wrote. i also want to say sorry for the people that were waiting...again, i'm still pretty new to writing, and if you have any advice please help me out!!

Here: part 1 part 2

Wednesday, 19th of december 2012

You were always excited about the idea of prom. The makeup, the dress, the dance, the romantic glances, and obviously the kiss that would be your first. But now the only thing that's on your mind was Elisa.

In these two days, Elisa has been acting slightly differently around you than before. She would give you a small nod of acknowledgement with a small smile or the usual frown. Yet, it still seemed like there was a barrier between the both of you, and talking to each other still felt impossible.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror making sure your ‘picture-smile’ looks good. Sam was next to you, holding a large pink make-up palette with an eyeshadow brush in her other hand.

You hated sleeping in class for one reason, and it's your silly mouth. Whenever you wake up you end up saying something stupid. And based on the way Elisa was looking at you, you knew you had said something dumb at the nurse office that day.

You had tried everything in your power to remember what you said, but nothing had worked.

“Girl it's not that serious, you're acting as if you confessed your love or something.” Sam groaned out, waving the pink powdered brush around. Your eyes widened and turned to look at her, “Sam! Don't say that, she's a girl!”

“So?” She shrugged, dabbing a glittery shade on your eyelids.

“So? You know so. Girls shouldn't like girls like that, don't be stupid.” You frowned, closing your eyes so she can work on your eyelids again.

“Why not? I don’t give a shit.” Sam looked away from your eyelids and stepped away to look at you with a confused glance. Both of you have never discussed anything like this, but she still felt offended thinking that you thought she was against it.

Silence filled the room, your hands playing around with the cheap acrylic nails you glued on. “Really?” You whispered.

“Pfft, yeah. Who cares? We're in highschool now. At least we're not doing drugs.” She laughed. She started tapping a different shade to your eyes, while humming to the song playing on her phone.

“Well, the government does.” You shrugged, your silky straightened hair moving around your shoulder. You felt Sam stop tapping your eyes before she asks, “the government does what?”

“Care. Same sex marriage isn't allowed, that's what I meant.”

“Wait, you searched up about that?” Sam accused you as she stepped away again from your face to glance at you. You opened your eyes in shock as you moved the hair away from your face, “what! No…I just assumed that.”

Sam's face dropped as she gave you a disappointed glance, but your embarrassment made you look down to your sweatpants. You didn't want to admit to Sam that you've searched about it, and you also would kill yourself if she finds out about the Quora comment you made.

Sam has already suspected something weird about you this whole school semester, and at first she thought it was about how stressful school is. But she noticed that whenever she talks about Elisa to you, you'd look away and try to make the conversations shorter. What made her realize what's going on is whenever Elisa walks past you, you'd look at her hoping for some reaction. A smile, a nod, even just a glance, you've always hoped Elisa would acknowledge you.

It was when the both of you were sitting at lunch with your two other friends when you brought up her nonchalant responses to you. Lucia and Suzan looked at you confusingly, responding with a ‘she jokes and is really friendly to me’.

Usually you wouldn't care, saying that it's not an obligation to like every person in school and you'd respect her friendships. But when it came to Elisa, you would complain about it everyday to her.

She hoped that you'd speak to her about your newfound crush on Elisa, but you'd always swerve and act dumb whenever she brings Elisa up. However, she understands it's very difficult to come out, especially when you still don't even know what you are in the first place.

So she shrugged and decided to apply blush around your cheeks. After that, you stood and wore your floral dress, avoiding Sam's eyes.

Sam has been talking a little too much, about her new favorite show, the side character she's obsessing over, her new favorite snack, and many things she started blabbering about. When Sam talks too much, it means she's either hiding something from you or is trying to distract you. Both conclusions are awful, so you shook her off and started wearing your jewelry.

Sam's loud mouth slowed down as you stared at your complete reflection. She pulled your hand to sit on the bed before you left to the venue. She held into it and said, “If Paul doesn't treat you well, it doesn't matter okay? You're there to experience your first prom, not your first date with Paul.”

You looked down at your intertwined hands and sighed, feeling like she knew something you don’t. Did Paul say he would ditch me? Does she know about that? She continued, “Besides, you look too good. If he treats you badly, you can literally get anyone else.”

You huffed and looked away from her, “Yeah like who?”

“Every guy. Literally,” She said in a duh tone. She stayed quiet for a second before adding, “probably Elisa too if what they say is true.”

You looked up to look at Sam, “no way, I'm not her type.”

“And how would you know her type?”

You stayed silent and awkwardly shrugged as you looked down. “Amy's probably her type, just like everyone else.”

Sam sighed loudly and wrapped her left arm around your shoulder, “I wish you can see yourself the way these boys do. You're smart, gorgeous, kind, hardworking, and so many more. Amy is cute, yeah… but she's not the whole package.”

You bit your lip trying to suppress your smile,and leaned into her touch. “Thanks, I'll let you know what happens when I come back.”

Sam nodded and stood up, realizing that you're heading out right now. “Is he coming now?”

You turned and looked at her, “who?”

Sam's stomach sank when she realized the situation, she sighed loudly, “oh my God are you actually telling me he's not even taking you there.”

Giving her a forced smile, you stood up and wore your heels. “I don't care about him at this point. I feel like…my crush on him was never real you know. Like… I was attached to the hope of us being close like how we were when we were kids, I wasn't actually hoping for a relationship with him,” you exhaled calmly, “I just want to experience prom, I don't care about the romance part, especially not with him anymore.”

Sam was glad that you were officially over Paul. She knew he wouldn't be a great partner and she wanted what's best for you. But she knew that there was something else. Because for you to get over someone, you'd have to be distracted enough to forget about them. That's how you are.

Sam walked you to the car outside, your parents both standing with a camera to take pictures. You were glad they didn't know about American prom traditions, because it is embarrassing how Paul isn't here to take pictures with you as well as the corsage and flowers.

After the awkward posing, your father got into the car and dropped you off at the huge venue the school rented for today. As you stepped out of the car, fear started brewing in you. You were late because of the long lectures from your parents so the building was filling up already and you were the type of person who would come first to everything.

You hoped you would not find Paul as you took a deep breath and entered the poorly lit room. It was filled with blue decorations, blue foil curtains around the walls and entrance, blue balloons, blue flowers, blue ceilings, everything was either blue or white except the yellow lamps that created a ‘romantic’ atmosphere.

“Hey you're here!” A sudden noise came from behind you, feeling a hand on your shoulder.

You turned immediately, finding Paul wearing a classic white and black suit and a red tie. You gave him a fake smile and replied, “yeah I just came here, I hope you're not mad that I'm a bit late.”

Paul gave you a bright smile, the one that makes your anger and disappointment in him slightly fade away, “don't worry, I didn't even notice you weren't with me anyways!”

He grabbed your elbow and dragged you to the tables not realizing the face drop in your face. You didn't know if you should feel offended or just cry, your stomach dropping as you felt slightly sick.

“Hey guys, my date is here.” He pointed at you, introducing you to his friend group. You've known them, they were all in your class and you've talked to them previously.

Adam glanced at you and waved, “you didn't tell us it's y/n!” You looked away from them, trying to hold in your frustration and disappointment. He called you his date and didn't bother to introduce you by your name, but it's okay because you ARE his date. He just called you what you are… you can't get mad at that.

But he didn't even tell them it was you? So he hid the fact he asked you out for the past 2 weeks? You remained facing away from them, hugging your bare arms into yourself as you hoped you could find someone to run and talk to. Adam, Paul and his friends were chatting about video games and football. A part of you wanted to join the football conversation, but you knew they're going to mock you because you're a girl.

So you pulled out your phone and texted Sam a quick update message letting her know that Paul was disappointing just like how the both of you were expecting. You turned it off when you heard Yousef talk about Elisa.

“I can't believe Elisa actually came.” You looked at Yousef, realizing he was facing the food and drinks table. You turned immediately to find where she was. After moments of looking around, you found her standing around the drinks area laughing at something Marie said, her hair neatly styled to the side. You have noticed that Elisa's hair is always styled well, but this time it looks like she took longer to perfect her look. She was wearing the usual black and white suit, except with a pink tie.

You wondered what Marie had said to make her laugh that hard, and you looked around her to check if she had a date. You knew Fleur was recovering from her injury, but what if she brought someone else?

Your gaze was interrupted when you heard Paul mutter something, “No matter how much she dresses like us, she can never be us,” You turned to look at him in surprise, “imagine being a lesbian and trying to dress like us yet you get no dates.”

Your shock turned into anger, “Paul, what the fuck!” You couldn't believe he is your date, let alone your best friend as a kid.

The guys all laughed at what he said and how you reacted, Paul looked at you in shame and he tried to pull you away from the group.

“No let go of me! You can't just say stuff like that, it's rude.” You angrily pushed his hand away from your wrist. Out of all the things Paul did, this was the worst of them. Because he was not hurting you, he was hurting Elisa. Elisa the sweet girl that did nothing wrong to him.

“Y/n come on she can't hear us it's okay.” He pulled you closer as he whispered to you. His soft brown eyes looking at you to let you know how sincere he was. You felt disheartened, this was the guy you had a crush on. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down to not cause a scene. You can't behave this way for Elisa, they'll know. Wait…they'll know what? You glanced at Elisa to make sure she didn't hear him, now she's standing alone as Marie and Adam were dancing to the upbeat music playing.

“So just because she can't hear you, it technically means you didn't say it? Paul, you still said it!” You whisper-shouted at him. You exhaled slowly as the anger faded into shame. Shame in thinking he was sweet and precious. Shame in still expecting more from him no matter how much he ignored you.

“What can prove existence y/n? It's for you to have proof of something or remember it. No one can prove what I said to Elise, and she didn't witness it. You know what this means?” You gaped at him in surprise, is he turning this situation into a philosophical study? “What I said doesn't exist in Elise's world. She doesn't know about it, okay?” he held your hand and pulled you into him, leaving his right arm around your shoulder.

Your insides churned as you felt disappointed, not in Paul this time, but in yourself for not letting go of him and defending Elisa. You didn't even have the energy to correct him for saying the wrong name. For now, you're thinking of a plan to stay away from him.

The boys started talking about other stupid topics as Paul's arm remained on you. Instead of listening to them, you focused on Élisa's back as she was standing a few meters away from you. From this angle, it looked like Elisa had a new haircut for today. Her shaved sides looked cleaner, the suit she was wearing was fitting her shoulders so well as if she got it tailored. You glanced back to Paul when you realized you're putting too much focus on her.

You quickly took off Paul’s hand off your shoulder, telling him that you’re going to the bathroom. Your tense muscles started to calm down when you had finally escaped him and his annoying friends. Walking in the dark hallway to somewhere quieter, you decided to stop by the drinking area and get yourself cold water to calm yourself but you were interrupted by someone.

“I thought you were here with Paul?” You turned to the voice and found Elisa pouring herself a sprite, her first two buttons of her shirt were open and the light pink tie was loose. You froze in place as you looked at her this way, the orange hues from the lights hit her left face making her sharp jawline pop and her prominent nose stand out. You sighed quietly as your hands started to shiver, but you couldn’t blame the cold for this one. You know exactly what this is now.

“I don’t care about him.” You gulped the water and threw the paper cup in the trash.

“Did he hurt you?” She stepped closer to you as the loud music was making it difficult for her to hear you. But your flustered state made you step back, “no, he just said something rude about someone I care about…”

Elisa’s face changed from frustration to confusion, “who?”

You felt like the first day of school all over again, the unnecessary nervousness consuming you as you folded your arms against your chest, “why do you care?” you snorted and looked at the dancing couples at the new slow music playing.

Elisa figured out that you probably didn't even want to be around her, she was the one that approached you and started this conversation anyways. But why wouldn't you say who Paul was talking about? She has been nicer to you, right? Are you guys friends now?

Elisa froze as she thought back to how she has been treating you since that nurse encounter two days ago. She realized that she was just dramatic for thinking that the way you viewed her changed, a small smile and a nod doesn't make you guys friends. Besides, she was the only one that had reacted differently. Yours were the same, glancing away and looking down.

“You're right, I don't care.” She frustratingly mumbled, turning away from the table and you and pretending to care about the cringey gross couples dancing (she wishes she could have a girl and dance like that).

Your chest ached at the thought that she doesn't care, but you exhaled a breath you were holding when you realized she stopped asking who it was. You also didn't understand why you worded it that way in the first place. Why did you say that you cared about her? You wondered how she'd react if she knew about what happened, and really hoped she wouldn't find out about your new attraction.

You thought back to what Sam said, is it not that bad and you were being dramatic? Your parents were never religious, but they still never showed any sort of awareness about gay people. You thought about how your parents would react if you brought Elisa as your girl, and just the thought of her being yours made you smile.

You needed to accept it, but you didn't know how. So you glanced back at elisa now that you have admitted it to yourself, that you like elisa. Her face was still facing the couples, her hand holding the filled glass as her other hand was folded almost like yours.

“Why pink?”, you stuttered out, hoping to hear Elisa's voice again even if she was glaring from frustration.

“Hmm?” Elisa turned back to look at you with confusion and bent down to hear you. Now that the both of you are standing next to each other, she can see your face clearly and the effort you made for today. The soft pink makeup around your eyelids, the red pouty lips, the straightened hair, and the tight-fitted dress that made her eyes struggle to not look down. And all of this made her heart tighten, because all of this was for Paul. Not for her, for a guy that is a piece of shit and treats you awfully when she can treat you better.

Elisa kept in mind that when she said she can treat you better, she didn't mean it literally. She doesn't like you. In fact, she can't stand you no matter how many sweet interactions you can get into, you'll always be grossed out by her…or maybe you just can't stand to be around her for some reason (she has one in mind). She just said that theoretically, if Elisa had a girl, she would’ve treated her way better than that stupid guy.

“The tie,” you shakenly point at her tie as you avoided eye contact, “why the color pink?” Your mind started filling up with many thoughts, on why you even thought of this question, or what if she thinks you were mocking her outfit? You could’ve said anything else to start a conversation. You were never like this, you were socially bubbly and knew exactly what to say in situations. Why are you suddenly behaving this awkwardly?

It seemed as if Elisa had forgotten what she was wearing the way she looked down to look at the tie you were talking about. She stood up straighter and thought for a second. Normally Elisa would feel somewhat offended by the question, but she knew you meant no harm in asking and you looked like you were just curious, “to show people that at the end of the day I am still a girl.”

You stayed silent for a moment, confused by the response she just gave you, “but… pink is just a color I mean… how does that even, you know what? Nevermind.” You cringed out at the way you spoke to her. You should’ve just stayed quiet, especially by the way Elisa is side-eyeing you right now.

She cracked a smile when she saw your panic, “I know, I’m just kidding,” She turned around, now her front is facing the table edge on your right. She rested her hands on the edge as she leaned closer to you, making you lean back to the point where your butt is almost on top of the table. “I actually bought this awhile ago when I thought Fleur was coming with me before she injured herself.”

“Oh,” you looked down at her hands gripping the edge of the table, “so I’m assuming Fleur was meant to wear pink, right?”

She nodded, but before she responded you screeched out when you realized the music changed, “Woah, not this song!” She looked at you confusedly as you jumped off the table and looked around you embarrassed, “sorry I don’t even know why I did that. This is my favorite song of all time and I kinda got excited.”

Elisa laughed awkwardly, looking around the same direction as you to see what you’re looking for. But her eyes froze when she noticed it was Paul, and he was also looking around possibly for you. You knew Paul was looking for you, because no matter how many things he forgot about you, your love for this song is unforgettable.

You turned your glance to Elisa, realizing she’s also looking at Paul, “hey, I don’t want him to see me…he’ll probably try and get me to dance with him but I can’t even stand him after what he did today.”

“Umm… So do you want me to cover you or what?” she scrunched her face in confusion as she opened her suit jacket in a way to try and hide you from anyone behind her, including paul.

You were stunned for a moment, gaping at her before bursting out from laughter. For a second, you forgot about the fact you were trying to hide from Paul as you saw Elisa's pink flushed cheeks seeing you laughing at her awfully failed attempt. But you were thankful nonetheless, “I don't think this would cover me completely but thank you.”

She slowly returned the jacket back around her waist, buttoning the first button and turning around to check for Paul again. Elisa knew her face was probably red and burning, but in her defense, what was she supposed to do? She tried not to face you until her face cools down a bit so she tried to look for ‘Voldemort’ again. When she saw him, she smiled. Paul had stopped looking around and concluded that you probably was still in the bathroom. So now Elisa knew that Paul won't have to treat you like shit, “damn how much do you like this song that he even noticed you were gone?”

“Um… I used to sing it all the time back when we used to hang out together. The obsession was intense.” You suddenly felt so pathetic for your crazy obsession, but when you looked up to see Elisa, she had a fond smile.

“Yeah, I get it. I had a crazy obsession with one video game to the point where Fleur and Marie avoided me because I kept talking about it.”

You glanced back and saw Paul talking to Amy. And right now, you were glad that he was talking to her. Because you can just spend your time talking with Elisa and he won't even think about you.

“If I was really drunk and no one was around, I would be dancing right now.” You mumbled, frowning as you were humming the song. Elisa giggled at your comment, she took a step to the dark hallway and pointed to the place next to her.

“No one is going to look here.” Elisa's voice came out way more unsteady than she had expected. It's not like she's asking you to dance with her, she just wanted you to feel comfortable and enjoy prom. And it's your favorite song, anyone would want to dance to their favorite song without judgment, right?

You sighed as you looked down to cover your blushing face. Although your face doesn't usually turn red, it does show somehow that you're ‘blushing’... well, that's what Sam says when you do anyways. Is Elisa asking to dance with you? There is no way that's what she meant, you had just admitted your crush on her to yourself and now she wants to dance with you, is this a dream?

Besides, she doesn't like you. Her little nods and glances mean nothing. What if she talks bad about you to her friends, maybe that's why she glances at you… to find something to talk about. But as you looked up to Elisa, her face contorted to a stressful frown and you had just realized that she probably thinks that you're rejecting her.

“Okay,” you gave her a small smile as you walked towards her to the unlit hallway. Elisa gave you the same soft smile, her cheeks turning pink. In her head, a million thoughts are running through her head. Is she about to have a girl dancing with her like the couples she just called gross and cringey? Were you actually going to dance with a girl? Elisa thought you were against that, she thought you wouldn’t even accept the idea of being around her.

But right as you stepped near her, the music abruptly stopped making the both of you groan and slack your shoulders. “Are you serious? I didn't even get to enjoy the best part.” You talked under your breath as you awkwardly stepped away from Elisa, realizing you were getting a bit too close to her.

Elisa was frustrated as much as you. She actually didn't give a damn about the song, but the thought of her dancing with you in your cute dress and bright smile made her pray that the song would be playing for a whole hour if possible. But she had to remind herself that she didn't necessarily want to dance with you specifically, she just wanted a girl in her arms, any girl. Or maybe that's one way of trying to convince herself.

A loud voice from the speakers echoed through the venue, “hey everyone, I am Michael and sorry to interrupt your dance, but we will reveal prom king and prom queen now. You were able to vote for the contestants for the whole past month. And now, we have the list. For prom kings, we have me, Paul Badosa, and Adam Nuñes. For prom queens, we have y/n l/n, Amy Moreau, and Jasmine Ali,” You turned to look at Elisa with a look of distress. If Paul and you win, you would have to dance in front of everyone. You didn’t want to be around Paul, and just the thought of his hands around your waist gave you goosebumps…and not the good kind. “Drum roll please… the winners are Paul Badosa and y/n l/n, congratulations! And please come to the front for the crown and the dance.”

Elisa was praying for you not to win it when she heard Paul's name. But now she realized that you need help escaping this place before they try to look for you. She turned to look at your anxious face and tapped your bare shoulder, pointing to the small neon ‘exit’ sign on the end of the pitch black hallway. You gratefully nodded and walked to that door, knowing that if you decided to run you would either trip or your heels would make too much noise. You can hear the students calling out your name and looking for you, but you chose to ignore it. You didn’t want to dance with Paul, everything would be uncomfortable.

Once you delicately and slowly opened the door, you turned around to thank Elisa. But you didn’t expect her to be this close, your face almost bumping into her chest. You stumbled backwards from the shock, and Elisa wrapped her arm around your waist before you dropped. From the sudden surprise and fear of falling, you wrapped your arms around Elisa's shoulder, trying to find balance on your uncomfortable heels.

For a moment, the both of you froze clinging into each other. Elisa slowly stepped forward, making sure the both of you are completely outside so the students don't find you… especially in this sort of position with her. You didn't want to let go of her so you pretended to struggle with your heels. Embarrassment started filling Elisa when she could feel her heartbeat speeding up and she closed her eyes begging that you can't feel it against your chest.

You were the first to let go; you were afraid if she noticed something different with the way you were behaving or if she was uncomfortable with the way you were clinging onto her. Elisa's focus was nowhere near you, she was trying to calm her gay heart. Obviously, she had hugged girls before. But it was you, in a cute dress, in a party, clinging into her… that's different.

The both of you were avoiding each other's eyes while trying to calm down, you looked at the door behind Elisa to make sure it's closed and decided to ask, “why didn't you stay? It's prom and you should enjoy it.”

“And you're going home alone? You don't even have a ride and it's dark outside, it's not right.”

You sighed gratefully, pulling out your phone to look at how far is the venue from your house. Surprisingly, it was just a 20 minute walk. And although this may seem too far away, you knew it wouldn't be that bad.

You refused to call your parents to pick you up from here. You didn't want them to know that Paul had basically ditched you and humiliated you and Elisa around his friends. You felt shame knowing what happened, even if it wasn't your fault. It's embarrassing to not celebrate prom and leave early… especially when you were the ‘popular’ student in class.

“It's okay Elisa, the venue isn't far off from my house.” You opened Google maps for you to follow the steps.

“Y/n it's still 8 at night, why don't you contact your dad to take you the same way he dropped you off?” Elisa blurted out. She was worried about you walking alone, another reason to hate on the inconsiderate idiot Paul. She also hoped that you didn't notice that she knew how you came to the venue, not wanting to admit to you that she was eyeing all the way from the outside when you came through the open entrance.

You stayed quiet for a moment, not wanting her to know the reason why you would rather walk in heels for 20 minutes rather than contacting your parents. You groaned, “I just don't want them to know I left early, they're going to ask me all about it.”

From your frustrated tone, Elisa understood exactly why. She stepped forward and pointed to the sidewalk, hoping you would lead the way to your house.

“Elisa, I'm sorry.” Your features suddenly contracted into a pout, remembering how stubborn Elisa is and how she would never accept a ‘no’ response.

“Y/n, it's okay. It's not like I was enjoying looking at couples dancing and wishing I was in one,” She exhales, “Besides, the only reason why I came here is because I promised Fleur.”

She stepped forward again, turning around to face you and waving her arm over. Elisa felt that she may have been sounding desperate, but it's okay right? It's not like you were uncomfortable with her walking you home. You seem more relaxed around her, and maybe her assumptions about you were false. She saw the soft grateful smile on your face as you followed her, holding up your phone to follow the map.

It was a blissful silence between you guys for a short while. Both secretly enjoy each other's company while also panicking on what to say. You bit into your lip as you prayed that you'd stop shaking from the chilly weather, goosebumps all over your arms. It's the south of France in December, and you're just wearing a dress.

Elisa turned to look at your phone to see where the both of you should go after the turn, but she noticed your fingers shivering as you were grasping your phone. Her body stiffened, realizing that it’s her duty now to protect you from the cold. She wanted to impress you, but she also wanted to take care of you, suddenly feeling protective of you and your health. Elisa’s fingers slowly unbuttoned her suit jacket and she slowed down from walking to remove it.

Elisa wasn’t aware that you were also glancing at her. The moonlight made her look like she came from an anime. Because there is not a single actress that can portray the angelic scenery in front of you. Your eyes traced her neck and collarbone from your view, and you didn’t notice Elisa had slowed down until it started to become difficult for you to shamelessly stare at her without turning your neck.

When Elisa stopped, you copied her and decided to wait for her. Until you realized that she had removed her jacket and is handing it to you. Elisa was breathing heavily, her lips between her teeth as she waited for you to take it. She was afraid that you would see this gesture as ‘weird’. But when she saw you grin at her as your hand accepted the jacket, her shoulders loosened up and she confidently walked again. Elisa prayed that you can’t see the panic in the way she’s walking, she wanted you to view her as calm and collected.

But you weren’t even thinking of the way she was standing or walking right now, you were a blushing mess at the sweet action. You followed her to thank her, “thanks, but you probably need it more than me.” You were still holding onto it, refusing to wear it.

“No, it’s okay! I’m wearing two layers beneath this,” she shook her head as she pointed at her dress shirt, “I promise I came prepared.”

You grinned brightly, lifting the large jacket and wearing it. The sleeves were reaching your fingertips, and the edge of the jacket had reached even below your butt. You buttoned all three of the buttons, accepting anything that can keep you warm in the winter wind.

Elisa was eyeing you from the corner of her eyes. She tried to mask the pink of her cheeks when she saw how big the jacket looked on you. She was aware that she is taller than most girls, but it’s difficult for her to notice that when she is lanky and skinny. Seeing you swim in her jacket made her smile in pride, and also because she thought you looked adorable that way, in her jacket under the streetlight.

“Wow… so you were planning to give your jacket to another girl, I see.” You sarcastically accused her as you nudged her shoulder. She bit her lip as she looked away, “no, that's not what I meant! I just…it was cold so-”

“I know, I'm joking.” You giggled when you saw her stammer. She nodded at what you said and stayed quiet, stuffing her clammy hands into her pockets.

You glanced back at the screen of your phone, realizing there is only a minute left before you reach home. You glanced back to Élisa and asked, “Hey, I want to thank you for all of this. Even when you said you didn't even want to stay there, I still feel rude dragging you out,” You smiled at her, hoping that she'd accept the offer you'll make, “Do you want to come over and have dinner with me?... and my family of course they'd be grateful to meet the person that walked me home.”

Elisa's eyes widened at the thought of your parents seeing her. She immediately declined, “no it's all okay actually, thanks.” She gave you a respectful smile, hoping you wouldn't take offense in her refusal. But she can see the embarrassment and the way your lips frowned, and now guilt is filling her heart. She didn't mean to make you sad, she was just worried about how your parents would react when they see her.

You shrugged her response off, hoping she can't read the disappointment in your face. Your parents taught you that if someone helped you, you have to offer them something back in gratitude. Whether it's candy, dinner, gifts, etc. So for Elisa to leave prom and walk you home, you felt the need to give her something back.

“This is my house, it's pretty small but I'm an only child so…” you pointed at the house when you spotted it as you turned to Elisa, “I want to give you something since you aren't coming in. Can you wait?”

Elisa nodded eagerly as a response. She felt like she couldn't breathe this whole walk with you, and she knew she needed a small break to recover from what happened the whole day. She saw you step inside the house wearing her jacket, she screeched when she realized your family will see you with it, “wait!”

But you had already stepped inside and you found both of your parents in the dining room eating dinner. They saw you and gave you a smile, “Hey, how was it?”

“Good. Mama, where did you put those fancy chocolates?”

Your father didn't say anything, he was only staring at the oversized suit jacket you were wearing.

“Ohhh, is it for Paul?” Your mom winked at you, her left hand pointing at the kitchen cabinet.

You sighed in frustration, not knowing what to say. If you said no, they'll ask who. And Elisa clearly doesn't want your parents to know her, and you also don't want your parents to question everything that happened with Paul.

So you didn't respond and grabbed the box of candy. But when your hands reached out for it, you noticed the suit jacket. Shit! Your parents would definitely question everything because of this.

You ran quickly outside, opening the door and shutting it behind you.

While you were away, Elisa was scanning your house out of curiosity. When she looked up to the lit bedroom upstairs, she noticed a shadow staring outside directly at her. She nearly jumped from it, closing her eyes in embarrassment. But who would that shadow be? She saw a glimpse of your parents when you opened the door, and you are an only child.

She took a deep breath and slowly looked up again, but the shadow wasn't there anymore. As she tried to take a step forward to see it from another angle, you opened the door.

She flinched and looked back at you, “oh, hi! Hi again…”

You looked at her strangely and smiled, “I didn't want you to go home with nothing, thank you.” You handed her the box of chocolate.

Elisa looked at the box, it was her favorite holiday chocolate. She isn't allowed to eat them at all because they were expensive and prestigious, only for special occasions.

“Oh wow, are you sure?” She hesitantly held out her hands to take it.

“Yes, and also this.” You passed the box to her and removed her jacket, handing it to her too.

Elisa was stunned for a moment, the warm outdoor lamp your house had made the scene in front of her look straight from a movie. The way your hair danced around your shoulders, the way you were removing her jacket. She quietly accepted it, opening her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

You turned around to open your door, giving her a small wave and closed it behind you. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, hoping your parents won't barge in and ask you a million questions. When they didn't, you sneakily walked on the stairs to your room, but what you saw made you scream.

“WHAT THE FUCK SAM!” You almost tripped down the stairs from your heels. Sam was on the top of the stairs with a sly smirk, she had seen the whole encounter of you and Elisa. She was surprised to see you hand out those chocolates, because you refused to give her a piece of them from how special they are to you. So why did you give them to Elisa? She also saw the jacket exchange, and the way Elisa was standing there admiring you.

You took a deep breath, turning around to glance at your parents to see if they heard you. Your dad gave you a disappointed glance, and your mom showed you a hand gesture that means ‘wait’ (which means you're basically fucked but she can't do anything since your friend was there).

Sam pulled your arm and dragged you to your room, she shut the door with the key and jumped on your bed, “how was prom with Paul?”

You awkwardly walked towards your closet, pulling out a pajama set as you thought of a way to respond, “um… did you not see my message?”

“Oh I saw it,” she replied, “I was just wondering if he redeemed himself at the end? I heard that you won prom queen, but I don't see you with the tiara.”

You turned to look at her, “can you leave so I can change?”

She nodded and left the room. She was waiting for you to say what happened, she still didn't understand how you came home with Elisa while also wearing her jacket. She hoped you'd be honest and tell her the truth. Sam had gotten 3 calls from Paul asking where you went, he said he was embarrassed that you had ditched him and how he had to receive the crown alone. He also asked where were you, but she didn't have an answer to that, she didn't know either. And when she tried to call and text, it seemed as though you were ignoring her (now she thinks you were too busy with Elisa).

You opened the door to your room as your left hand was wiping the makeup on your face, “I'm too tired to speak, but I basically ran away ‘cuz I didn't want to be around Paul.”

“And who dropped you home? Did you get a ride?” Sam was pretending as if she didn't see you outside, and you glanced at her weirdly. Did she see us? Would Elisa be okay if Sam knew about this? It was nothing, right? She was just being a kind person.

“No, I didn't get any rides.” You responded, the third makeup wipe is now stained black from the mascara.

“Yeah no ride because she doesn't have a dick.” She snorted as she snacked on the barbecue flavored chips.

Your hands stopped rubbing your eyes as you turned to look at her with an open mouth, “Sam! What even was that?”

“Why didn't you tell me that you and Elisa ran away together? I thought we were besties.” Sam had tried so hard to not be hurt by this, but the both of you were friends for a while. And she thought you liked her by now to tell her everything. She understood why you wouldn't tell her about your crush, but why not tell her about this? Aren't you both friends?

“Sam, you are my best friend… I was just worried you'd see it differently.” You exhaled as you sat down next to her, holding her hand now that you've cleaned your face.

“See it like what?” She knew what you meant, but she needed you to say it out loud, maybe then it will be easier for you to speak about your feelings out loud.

“Sam… you brought up me looking pretty enough to attract Elisa, and I thought that maybe you would make jokes when you find out that she walked me home.” You looked down at your bare feet, they were sore from all the walking you've done tonight and you just need a rest.

“Okay… I'm sorry I did make jokes, but I just wanna know what happened for you to even gift her those chocolates!”

You groaned loudly, covering your face with a nearby pillow, “She left prom to walk me home! That's the least I could've done.”

She laid in your bed, removing the covers to get cozy. “And she gave you her jacket, she's really sweet you know? She's just a little awkward around you.” She can feel herself dozing off as she mumbled.

“Well, that's the reason why I don't think she likes me…But Sam, today I was really happy,” You smiled as you thought about what happened today, “She did everything she can to make me feel safe and comfortable.”

You laid next to Sam and waited for her response, but you could hear her light snores and she turned around to pull you into her, just how the both of you usually cuddle in sleepovers.

You couldn't sleep, just smiling at what happened with Elisa.

“Shit! Did she walk home alone?!” You shrieked as you stood up and took your phone from the bedside table, but you froze when you realized that you didn't have any of Elisa's socials. You went to Facebook and searched up her name. You stumbled on around 15 accounts until you found an account with a username ‘delameida5elel’ and the picture was Elisa holding a football with Fleur and Marie. You pressed on it and found a recent post,

Prom would've been better if I knew how to socialize around pretty girls :((

You froze, reading the sentence over and over to check if your eyes were fooling you. Elisa actually likes girls? And what does she mean it would've been better if she knew how to socialize around pretty girls? Is she saying that today wasn't good and she wanted to talk to actual pretty girls? Elisa didn't have fun today with you and hoped she'd be with pretty girls, unlike you.

Your happy spirits suddenly went down feeling like a sad deflated balloon. At least she's home safely or else she wouldn't post that.

You threw the phone at the table nearby and laid stiffly back. Sam's arms came back around you, but you pushed them away and shuffled all the way to the end of the bed and turned away from her.

I fucked up.

----

~does your mom ever pull the italian hand and you panic and pray?

~Google maps app was created just 6 days before prom😝

guys let me know what you think i need to hear your thoughts

[beehunni62]

Fishskin Robes of the Ethnic Tungusic People of China and Russia

Oroch woman’s festive robe made of fish skin, leather, and decorative fur trimmings [image source].

Nivkh woman’s fish-skin festival coats (hukht), late 19th century. Cloth: fish skin, sinew (reindeer), cotton thread; appliqué and embroidery. Promised gift of Thomas Murray L2019.66.2, Minneapolis Institute of Art, Minnesota, United States [image source].

Back view of a Nivkh woman’s robe [image source].

Front view of a Nivkh woman’s robe [image source].

Women’s clothing, collected from a Nivkh community in 1871, now in the National Museum of Denmark. Photo by Roberto Fortuna, courtesy Wikimedia Commons [image source].

The Hezhe people 赫哲族 (also known as Nanai 那乃) are one of the smallest recognized minority groups in China composed of around five thousand members. Most live in the Amur Basin, more specifically, around the Heilong 黑龙, Songhua 松花, and Wusuli 乌苏里 rivers. Their wet environment and diet, composed of almost exclusively fish, led them to develop impermeable clothing made out of fish skin. Since they are part of the Tungusic family, their clothing bears resemblance to that of other Tungusic people, including the Jurchen and Manchu.

They were nearly wiped out during the Imperial Japanese invasion of China but, slowly, their numbers have begun to recover. Due to mixing with other ethnic groups who introduced the Hezhen to cloth, the tradition of fish skin clothing is endangered but there are attempts of preserving this heritage.

Hezhen woman stitching together fish skins [image source].

Top to bottom left: You Wenfeng, 68, an ethnic Hezhen woman, poses with her fishskin clothes at her studio in Tongjiang, Heilongjiang province, China December 31, 2019. Picture taken December 31, 2019 by Aly Song for Reuters [image source].

Hezhen Fish skin craft workshop with Mrs. You Wen Fen in Tongjian, China. © Elisa Palomino and Joseph Boon [image source].

Hezhen woman showcasing her fishskin outfit [image source].

Hezhen fish skin jacket and pants, Hielongiang, China, mid 20th century. In the latter part of the 20th century only one or two families could still produce clothing like this made of joined pieces of fish skin, which makes even the later pieces extremely rare [image source].

Detail view of the stitching and material of a Hezhen fishskin jacket in the shape of a 大襟衣 dajinyi or dajin, contemporary. Ethnic Costume Museum of Beijing, China [image source].

Hezhen fishskin boots, contemporary. Ethnic Costume Museum of Beijing, China [image source].

Although Hezhen clothing is characterized by its practicality and ease of movement, it does not mean it’s devoid of complexity. Below are two examples of ornate female Hezhen fishskin robes. Although they may look like leather or cloth at first sight, they’re fully made of different fish skins stitched together. It shows an impressive technical command of the medium.

赫哲族鱼皮长袍 [Hezhen fishskin robe]. Taken July 13, 2017. © Huanokinhejo / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY 4.0 [image source].

Image containing a set of Hezhen clothes including a woman’s fishskin robe [image source].

The Nivkh people of China and Russia also make clothing out of fish skin. Like the Hezhen, they also live in the Amur Basin but they are more concentrated on and nearby to Sakhalin Island in East Siberia.

Top to bottom left: Woman’s fish-skin festival coat (hukht) with detail views. Unknown Nivkh makers, late 19th century. Cloth: fish skin, sinew (reindeer), cotton thread; appliqué and embroidery. The John R. Van Derlip Fund and the Mary Griggs Burke Endowment Fund; purchase from the Thomas Murray Collection 2019.20.31 [image source].

Top to bottom right: detail view of the lower hem of the robe to the left after cleaning [image source].

Nivkh or Nanai fish skin boots from the collection of Musée du quai Branly -Jacques Chirac. © Marie-Lan Nguyen / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY 4.0 [image source].

Detail view of the patterns at the back of a Hezhen robe [image source].

Read more:

[scotianostra]

On December 22nd 1715 James Francis Stewart, “The Old Pretender”, landed in Peterhead from France.

Unfortunately it was all too late as the uprising had fizzled out after Mar’s inability to press forward after Sherrifmuir, so we shall take a look at where James Stuart cane ashore, the loyal town of Peterhead. Much of this is taken directly from testimony taken around the time of the Uprising.

The people of Peterhead were in the main loyal to the Sturts, and were involved in the Jacobite uprisings from beginning to end. The town proudly remembers the numbers involved and the names of some…..

In total the number of Peterhead folk called to arms in defence of the town were 138 men and 10 women – yes Peterhead women prepared to take up arms to fight for the King – Janet Dickie, Margaret Greig, Geills Scott, Margaret Dun, Elspat Mitchell, Janet Cruickshank, Mrs Walker, Elisa Bruce and Widow Bodie and Widow Brown. They were ordered to arm themselves with “ane sufficient gun charged with powder and bullets, and four spare shots besides, and ane sufficient sword” and to meet at the Cross on the appointed day, where they marched and took part in military drills. 7 Spanish cannons, salvaged from the St Michael in 1588 were taken from their position on the Battery at Keith Inch, pulled across the sand bank at the Quinzie (Queenie), and mounted on the Tolbooth Green, looking down Broad Street for the defence of the interior of the town.

On 9th September 1715 the Earl of Mar, appointed Commander-in-Chief by the exiled ‘Pretender’ King James, issued a Proclamation at Braemar signalling the start of the 1715 uprising:

“Now is the time for all good men to show their zeal for His Majesty’s service, whose cause is so deeply concerned, and the relief of our native country from oppression, and a foreign yoke too heavy for us and our posterity to bear; and to endeavour the restoring, not only of our rightful and native king, but also our country to its ancient, free and independent constitution under him whose ancestors have reigned over us for so many generations.”

On 25th October the exiled King James wrote to his supporters in Scotland: “We have not been able to look upon the present condition of our kingdoms, or to consider their future prospect without all the horror and indignation which ought to fill the breast of every Scotsman. We have beheld a foreign family, aliens to our country, distant in blood, and strangers even to our language, ascend to the throne.

“We are come to take our part in all the dangers and difficulties to which any of our subjects from the greatest down to the meanest may be exposed on this important occasion, to relieve our subjects of Scotland from the hardships they groan under and to restore the kingdom to its ancient, free and independent state.

“But we hope for better things. We hope to see our just rights and those of the church and people of Scotland, once more settled in a free and independent Scots Parliament on their

ancient foundation.”

On 31st October (Hallowe’en), the Magistrates and Town Council of Peterhead met at the Tolbooth (near the present Tolbooth Wynd), under the direction of the Secretary to the Earl of Erroll (from Slains Castle), George Leith, who was also Major General of Horses under the command of the Earl Marischal, with an order from the Earl of Mar, Chief Commander of King James’s forces in Scotland, which he read – ordering twelve of their number “to be ready mounted on horseback with sword and sufficient firelock, tomorrow precisely at six of the clock, to be witnesses to the said Mr Leith, his requiring the Lord Saltoun (of Fraserburgh) to give all due obedience to the foresaid orders.”

On 1st November (All Saints’ Day), 16 mounted “fenceable men” rode to Fraserburgh to proclaim the king. They were George Leith (Secretary to the Earl of Erroll), Bailie Cruickshank, Bailie Arbuthnot, Thomas Forbes, James Whyte, James Park, John Thomson, George Cruickshank, Alex. Smith (merchant), Robert Smith, John Logan, John Taylor, William Jollie, Alex. Forbes, James Blair & William Ramsay. The band of armed Jacobites rode off north towards Fraserburgh to “require” the Lord Saltoun to obey the orders from the Earl of Mar in support of King James.

About half a mile short of Fraserburgh the Peterhead band met Lord Saltoun and “obliged him to stop until the General’s orders were read to him.”It was demanded of him “what Party he inclined to join with” and that he “appear at His

Majesty’s Royal Standard”. Lord Saltoun answered that “he regarded neither Mr Leith nor his orders more than a footman” and further said that “at a whistle, he could raise a hundred men and cause them to fight all there present.”

Bailie Cruickshank answered that he believed they wouldn’t see them at Fraserburgh, where they immediately went and “proclaimed the King with all the solemnity we could, which we found did oblige the most of the inhabitants of that town.”

A party from the group went in search of arms, which they found in the chamber of the Clerk’s house. They broke open the door of the chamber with “ane big hammer” and found 24 new firelocks, proof marked, and all with A.R. (Anna Regina) on them, all charged with balls and gunpowder. The arms were taken back to Peterhead and handed to George Leith for the General’s use.

Later, a party of Jacobites, led by Irvine of Crimond, captured Lord Saltoun and forced him to go south to join the Jacobite army at Perth. Fraserburgh was then occupied by a Jacobite garrison, which compelled the inhabitants to contribute towards the payment of the soldiers.

On 13th November both the Earl Marischal and James Keith fought at the Battle of Sheriffmuir near Stirling. The Earl Marischal was 22 years old, and his brother 19 at the time of the Battle. James suffered a musket ball wound in his shoulder and spent the night in agony at Castle Drummond.

James Francis Edward Stuart (King James VIII) landed at Peterhead late on the night of 22nd December 1715 (O.S.), suffering from seasickness and fevers after having travelled 7 days (5 or 6 days according to other sources) by sea from Dunkirk in a well-armed vessel laden with a cargo of brandy. He arrived with six other gentlemen, including James Francis Fitzjames Stuart, grandson of King James VII, and Lieutenant Allan Cameron (a son of Lochiel), whom he sent immediately to Perth with the news of their arrival.

James Stuart was 27 years old, and this was the first time he had set foot in Britain since his father was driven into exile in 1688 (when James was six months old). He had lived at the Scots Court at Saint-Germain-en-Laye near Paris under the protection of the French King Louis XIV.

At first the small boat crept along the shore and attempted to enter the River Ugie, presumably to get as near as possible to Inverugie Castle, but “the night was wet and late the tide”, so they instead landed at the old pier of Port Henry Haven. The unexpected visitors were graciously received at the harbour by the Earl Marischal’s representative – the Baron Bailie Thomas Arbuthnot.

According to contemporary accounts they were “all habited like sea-officers, and passed for friends of the Pretender, going to Perth for his Service”. The vessel was despatched back to France with the news of James’s safe arrival.

They stayed the night at what is now Park Lane, near the Longate – at the house of the Baron Bailie’s brother-in-law, Captain James Park, merchant and ship owner. Here James wrote a short letter, dated “Peterhead, December 22nd, 1715” to say “I am, at last, thank God, in my own ancient kingdom as the bearer will tell you with all the particulars of my passage. I am weary and won’t delay a moment the bearer.”

A local song which commemorated the landing of the King at Peterhead was sung for many years after this event.

“King James is land’t at Peterhead, an honour great to us indeed.

The night was wet and late the tide, he couldna unto Ugie ride.

He slept a night in our good town, upon a good saft bed o’ down.

In the morning when he raise, the Marischal’s bailie brushed his claithes.

He’s come to set auld Scotland free from cursed Hanover tyranny.”

On the morning of 23rd December King James left by horseback, past Buchanhaven and then west by the old turnpike that skirted the south bank of the Ugie, to Inverugie Castle to visit the widowed Lady Mary Keith, mother of the Earl Marischal.

He passed the next night at Newburgh before carrying on to Aberdeen, accompanied only by a handful of horsemen, in ill health and in disguise. A contemporary account reports “’Tis said the Pretender is very much indisposed since his arrival, which is imputed to the great fatigue he has suffered at sea, and otherwise of late.”

The Earl Marischal and James Keith met King James for the first time at Fetteresso on 27th December, making their way to Dundee on 6th January, James Stuart entering the town with the Earl of Mar riding at his right hand and the Marischal at his left.

On 7th January 1716, they briefly set up court at Scone and arrived at Perth on 8th January.

On 30th January, the King, along with the two Keith brothers, the Earl of Mar and other main supporters, made for Montrose, where the King sailed back to France on 4th February 1716 on the ‘Maria Teresa of St Malo’. James Stuart had been only 43 days on Scottish soil. The Earl of Mar accompanied him back to France and served as his Secretary of State until 1722.

The first picture is a contemporary (if fanciful) illustration which appeared in a news sheet at the time. Clearly drawn by someone who had never visited Peterhead, it shows James Francis Stuart’s arrival the second at Proclamation Pend in the town of Peterhead celebrates arguably one of the most most historic event in the towns history.

[vicky82gargoylesfan]

My Thoughts on Gargoyles Quest Issue 4 Unequivocal Success

Finally after being delayed a few months and the digital release get's pushed back a week, I finally get issue 4 and it was worth the wait.

Spoilers

Demona starts to prepare her plan using the new 3 keys to power to control humans to obey to Gargoyles. So any Gargoyle can command all humans that are under mind control. Yeah!!! I don't think you thought this through Demona.

The spell doesn't work on Antoinette as she is already loyal to Demona. I love to know why she is so loyal to Demona. Maybe she was a Gargoyle part of the Wyvern clan in a previous life, maybe she was Hyppolyta or Antiope.

Cut to November 27th, Thanksgiving. Pretty cool to see them celebrate a different holiday,

Broadway and Angela doing the food. Broadway going to dunk the turkey!! What he's going to do, boil it or something??

Lex, Gnash and Alex are in the tv room watching news on the Parade.

Jeffrey Robbins arrives, Hudson invited him.

Brooklyn and Katana are in Rookery talking about that the egg will have the whole clan to raise her. Which raises red flags as there is a possibility of death coming. At first it look like it could be Hudson, as he was talking to the egg in Quest Issue 1. but now ,maybe it might be Brooklyn, which could be a bit controversial for some people. but even if dies, his story doesn't end, as we still got Timedancer and 2198.

Jade and Turquesa are still in New York!!! They decided to stay to help find Demona. I guess if they did leave earlier, then Avalon would have probably sent them back again. They are planning to go back to Avalon and hopefully get back home, Zafiro and Obsidiana are probably worried sick. They have to get home soon, they got over 20 eggs hatching in a few months.

Goliath and Coldfire are on patrol searching for Demona, glad to see a bit more interaction between them. Coldfire feels that she's lost her spiritualism because she's a robot but Goliath gives her some advice that she should use her heart and soul.

Wasn't surprised to hear that there are cracks starting to appear in her relationship with Coldstone. Coldfire thinks he's out looking for Demona night and day but as we all know he's been siding with her all this time. So it looks like a 2nd Gargoyle "divorce" is going to happen when Coldstone is revealed to be a traitor.

Demona starts to use her mind control spell on the humans, the first are the Jogger and William Greene and apparently they are brothers

Goliath leaves to meet Elisa at the clock tower and they have a good snog. Apparently the GTF are searching for Demona too, I wonder how much they know about her.

Demona arrives at the police station and it's obviously she's going to use her mind control spell on Elisa.

Coldfire takes Goliaths advice and she manages to use her spiritualism, which seems to work. she ends up in Time square, where the humans are already under Demona's spell.

Coldstone, who had already appeared, just stands there smirking!!! so that's it for him. As soon as everyone finds out he's a traitor, he's gone. Even if he admits to making a big mistake by siding with Demona, he's gone. He will probably end up being banished from the clan or maybe they should just switch him off and left to rust in a storage room or something. I'm done with him.

Demona and Antoinette arrive at the castle and uses the mind control spell on David, Fox and Owen and she tells Owen not to turn into Puck. Erm!!! I hope Gnash is still keeping a eye on Alex, this could be the perfect opportunity for Raven to kidnap Alex.

Lex is on the computer talking to Amp

Due to being blind, Jeffery Robbins, is not affected by Demona's spell.

Goliath arrives back at the castle, being greeted by Brooklyn and Katana but then Demona shows up with Elisa,under her spell.

Issue 5 is going to be pretty tense. I sort of excited an nervous at same time, with Angela finally confronting her Mother.

It's still scheduled to come out on December 4th, so cross fingers it won't be delayed.

[brianasworkincollege]

DWELL/SHELTER;

A performance and installation created and directed by Briana Angulo

With the assistance and filming of Ashley Anzorandia and Angela Rio

List of artists in collaboration:

June

Dayna

Antonio

Elisa

Lilith

Initially, the shelter project was intended to be a manipulation of sound, audio and voice to encapsulate dwell into a shelter sound capsule. When that wasn’t an option, I adapted my “charcoal performance project” to be the installation presented in class, being the remains of an intimate scene where artists were covered in charcoal as they were energetically drawing and posing for one another, feeling safe in the desexualization of their bodies and confianza among queer artists familiar with the specific gaze figure artists have to observe the nude body. Wood, in this case, was used in the form of charcoal, spread onto paper in the walls, floor, tables and pedestals, where artists and models climbed on, fell from, left sweat on, among other activities. At this time, the charcoal performance piece was only available to be viewed as an installation and from the documentation of said installation. The videos from the “charcoal performance piece” will be available to be viewed both in the November thesis show and 786Gallery in December.

What was specifically explored in this piece is why was there a need for the protection and desexualization of our bodies when that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. But our context of living allows for us to bring up issues perception, masking and presentation. Even our own relationship with our bodies in the context of all of us being queer. (queer referring to people who are neither straight or cisgender)

[return-to-twisted-wonderland]

🌸 Anon

A song someone sings(Sequel to Once upon a December)

[She didn’t respond at first, heck it was like she was in a trance or something when looking around at pretty much everything(She is technically remembering but than she spoke]

Elisa: I’m okay

[the sixteen year old girl than looked at her brothers with a reassuring smile]

Elisa: I’m just remembering more things is all. Things that were, like a far off dream way

[She glances over where she guessed may have been technically her and her brothers as well as parents too lived it]

Elisa: or were glowing dim as an ember

[She remembers herself as a little girl running there with Ortho and Idia doing his best to keep up. Following the pair of laughing children. All three having heading back to their home. Elisa following the path her childhood self went. Even sang a little]

Elisa: 🎶Things my heart used to know🎶

[She remembers her past self and Ortho soon running into the arms of their parents cheering as their parents get to be with them for awhile. Idia getting to join in the hugs a quick second later]

Elisa: 🎶Things it yearns to remember🎶

[Elisa smiles a little remembering this memory, it’s simple yet it’s just as important. Ortho and Idia did managed to follow her aka luckily did not lose sight of her]

Elisa: 🎶And a song someone sings🎶

[Elisa stops for a second when she sees someone, two someones who were adults. It looked like the pair were waiting for someone at the spot in memory……her and her brothers’ parnets stood waiting]

Elisa: 🎶Once upon a December🎶

[Her eyes widen as she slowly walks up to the two there. Both were wearing some kind of helmets over their heads, Elisa couldn’t see their faces but……]

Elisa: Mom? Dad?

[She says softly looking at the two]

Mrs. Shroud: Sweetie!

Mr. Shroud: Elisa!

[beardedmrbean]

Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni has told members of her Brothers of Italy (FdI) party that she was “angry and saddened” after an investigative outlet published two reports showing members of the party's youth wing making fascist salutes and using racist and antisemitic language.

“There is no room [in FdI] for racist or antisemitic positions, in the same way as there is no room for nostalgia for the totalitarian systems of the 20th Century, or for any other display of foolish folklore,” Ms Meloni wrote in a letter.

She added she had “no time to waste with those who want to, unwittingly or not, become a tool in the hands of our adversaries”.

“Those who are unable to understand this, who have not understood the path [we are on] or who are unable to keep up cannot be part of Brothers of Italy."

In the first report put out by investigative outlet Fanpage in mid-June, members on FdI’s National Youth wing (Gioventù Nazionale - GN) can be heard chanting slogans like “For a cleaner world, come back, Uncle Benito [Mussolini]” and “Sieg Heil!”

The videos were gathered by undercover journalists who infiltrated the group posing as potential new members.

Two weeks later, a second instalment of the investigation showed several members and local leaders making derogatory remarks about disabled people, as well as racist comments and antisemitic remarks.

Fanpage said that after the report came out, several former members of the FdI youth wing got in touch to share their experiences within the group. Many said they had witnessed similar behaviour in local branches across Italy.

Several of the more high-profile members of the GN featured in the investigation were seen as rising stars within the main Brothers of Italy party.

One of them, Elisa Segnini, who could be heard in one of the videos as saying she had “never stopped being a racist or a fascist”, has since resigned from her role as cabinet secretary to an FdI MP.

Local chapter leader Flaminia Pace stepped down from her senior role within the GN after she was caught on camera mocking a Jewish FdI senator, Ester Mieli.

Commenting on the Nazi-inspired slogans and the antisemitic rhetoric used by GN members, Italian senator and Holocaust survivor Liliana Segre, 93, told Italian TV: “The deviations that have come to the fore recently… have always existed, but used to be hidden, not paraded about.”

Ms Segre added: “At my age, must I witness this once more? Will I be thrown out of my country again, like I was in the past?”

Minister Luca Ciriani of FdI said the reports were based on “fragmented, decontextualised images taken in a private setting”.

Other FdI party members, however, condemned the behaviour of the youth wing members. The President of the Senate, Ignazio La Russa, said the language used by GN went “against the values of our party” and condemned “all forms of racism and antisemitism”.

Ms Meloni, however, did not immediately respond to the Fanpage investigation. She acknowledged it for the first time last week, when she criticised the outlet by saying it had used “methods worthy of an [authoritarian] regime” when it infiltrated the youth wing of her party.

“Why did [Fanpage] only do this with FdI?,” she asked, adding: “Is this even allowed?”

But she also added that “racist, antisemitic or nostalgic ideas” were “incompatible with Brothers of Italy".

Simona Malpezzi, an opposition senator of the centre-left Democratic Party (PD), said Ms Meloni should have “thanked the Fanpage journalists who shone the light on an extremely serious issue concerning the youth wing [Ms Meloni] is so proud of… She should distance herself from the people who used to be considered the party’s rising stars.”

Ms Meloni has previously praised GN. At a political event last December, she said her younger supporters were "wonderful", saying: "Many are jealous of us because we have young people who still believe in politics... It's rare and it's precious."

Since becoming the leader of a right-wing coalition and Italy’s prime minister in 2022, Ms Meloni has often found herself at the centre of controversy involving her Brothers of Italy party, which has its political roots in the far-right Italian Social Movement (MSI) - set up by former Mussolini supporters after World War II.

In June, the spokesperson for agriculture minister and key Meloni ally Francesco Lollobrigida resigned following the publication of wiretapped calls and messages that contained racist and antisemitic comments.

[alejo-sims4]

UPDATED LINKS OF MY CC - SHARE IN YOUR MEDIAS

FOLLOW ME FOR MORE: Instagram

UPDATED: FEBRUARY-03-2024

Marble & Metal - Table + Mirror

ELISA BODYSUIT

ELENA TURTLENECK BODYSUIT

ANGELA BODYSUIT

NANCY CAMOUFLAGE SET

DUNEA DRESS

RACHEL PEARL BIKINI

CARMEN SATIN DRESS

SHAKIRA "GIRL LIKE ME" OUTFIT

CUBAN CARNIVAL OUTFIT

EUPHORIA COLLECTION

MISS WILLOW CREEK OPENING 1 OUTFIT

MISS WILLOW CREEK OPENING 2 JUMPSUIT

MWC "PICK THE BEST" MINIDRESS

MISS WILLOW CREEK SWIMSUIT 1

MISS WILLOW CREEK SWIMSUIT 2

COMING BACK DRESS

SEPTEMBER COLLABORATION

LARA SURVIVOR OUTFIT

My quiet bedroom Set

Stefy Dress

OCTOBER COLLABORATION

Halloween 2022 Combo

October furniture set

Faby bodysuit

Faby Lips earring

Lipstick N01

Dating in Fall Outfit

November collaboration

Ashley golden outfit

Felipe set

Brianna Evening Gown 1

Brianna Sportswear

December Collaboration Set

Brianna Night Dating

Brianna Evening Gown Final Competition MSU

Vanity Set

Cool summer time Set

Dream kitchen set

Verano Swimsuit "THE DOK"

Summer Swimsuit "THE DOK"

Été Swimsuit "THE DOK"

Summer sleeveless shirt "THE DOK"

Summer short "THE DOK"

Luxury is in the air

Cozy bathroom

Interview set - Blender scene

[POSE] STUDY SESSION WITH MODEL

FURINNO Living room set

[elisasinclair]

(alex kingston, fifty-eight, cis woman, she/her) you do not know me but rest assured i know you, MARCHIONESS ELISABET 'ELISA' SINCLAIR. you are the MARCHIONESS OF SINCLAIR. you maybe be known for your KINDNESS but it is only a mask for the true nature of your SCATTERBRAINED ways. however, i am not here to spread slander on the queen’s jewels, though i suspect you are her MOONSTONE. the ton says your name reminds them of GENTLE LAUGHS AND A LOVING SMILE, HANDS CHAFED FROM YEARS OF EARLY WORK HIDDEN UNDER GLOVES, CALCULATING MOMENTS SWIFTLY FLITTING OFF. how scandalous! you have been warned, dear reader, that i will prove if this is true and share every last detail.

Basics

Name: Elizabet 'Elisa' Sinclair Title: Marchioness of Sinclair Age, DOB: 58, 11th of December 1754 Sexuality: Bisexual Gender: Cis woman Faceclaim: Alex Kingston

Family

Husband: Marquess NAME of Sinclair Children: Eldest Son (40s), Lord Henry Sinclair (37), Lord Callum Sinclair (31), Lady Adelaide Sinclair (27), Youngest Son (20s) In-laws: Dowager Marchioness NAME of Sinclair Other: Cassandra Lockridge (28, ward of Marquess)

Biography

Elisabet did not have the start to life expected of a Marchioness. Her father was a small town butcher, her mother a seamstress. When she was 6 her father passed away and her mother needed to take more work in order to get by. Even little Elisa needed to start running errands for people to put food on the table.

When Elisa was sixteen she started working for the Sinclair family as a maid. At the time no one could have seen how her life would change forever.

She caught the attention of the eldest son of the current Marquess and within months they were both smitten. They wrote each other love letters and although Elisa was certain he'd move on shortly he was determined to prove that he was dedicated to her.

That entailed going to his father and Elisa's mother to ask formally to marry her. Her mother was ecstatic about the match, knowing it would lead to a life far more comfortable than she could have dreamt. The Sinclair patriarch needed convincing but when eh realised how in love his son was he agreed to the match, on the condition that she was presented as a noble.

The pair were sent away over winter and the Sinclair's put it about that their eldest son was being set to court a noble from England who's family had immigrated to Germany.

He returned in the spring and the pair were soon married. The following year their first son was born.

Although her new life was extremely different Elisa did her best to be the perfect wife and mother. She spent hours practicing all that was expected of her and for the most part she has gone unnoticed by the ton (this is one of her secrets).

Elisa is a doting mother and wants her children to have the best in life. She also wants them to have the chance to marry for love, like she and their father did which is why, despite the rumours and stigma, she hasn't pushed them to get married until now.

She still loves her husband with all of her heart (details up for plotting for the wonderful person who takes him).

Around the Ton she is known for her kindness, she will regularly be seen doing charity work and everyone in her household knows better than to treat staff as anything other than an equal. She can be very flighty though, a constant whirlwind of excitement that has not changed since her younger days. Good luck getting a date in the diary to have her visit you - you're better just turning up to the Sinclair's home!

[universalhealthcoverageday]

Health education with film sequences for better access to quality care and prevention.

Screening and panel discussion with the WHO Academy in Lyon, IARC and the Universal Health Coverage Partnership conference on the theme of health education with film sequences for better access to quality care and prevention.

Can a film sequence influence our behaviours to better combat antimicrobial resistance during treatment? Can it promote more holistic management of mental health? Or help general practitioners and their patients to better integrate social or cultural determinants into their approach to health?

These three themes and a few more will be addressed by the short films screened on 13 December in Lyon in the auditorium of the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), on the occasion of the Global Health Festival organized by the French authorities in honour of the inauguration of the WHO Academy.

This screening will inspire a debate on health education through film between high-level experts at the WHO, including representatives from IARC and the WHO Academy. The audience will be composed of WHO representatives from various French-speaking countries and a public based in Lyon composed of health professionals and students in public health, social sciences and cinema.

Speakers include:

Dr David Atchoarena, Executive Director of the WHO Academy.

Dr Jérôme Salomon, Assistant Director-General, Universal Health Coverage, Communicable and Noncommunicable Diseases.

Dr Elisabete Weiderpass, Director of the WHO International Agency for Research on Cancer.

A trophy will be awarded to Elisa Tiozzo, a young French director who won the Student Film Prize at our Health for All Film Festival (HAFF) in 2024. Elisa is the author of an animated film that she made when she was a student at the Emile Cohl School in Lyon. Her film deals with a scene from everyday life between a woman with cancer and her young daughter. The panel discussion will focus on, among other things, the potential impact of this film: how to support the loved ones of a patient so that they can better cope with the treatment and its consequences?

Other short films selected by the WHO Health For All Film Festival will also be shown during this session:

"4000 meters above pain", a reportage by Christophe Blot and Thibaut Ras produced by the Georges Boissel Foundation about an innovation in a mental health care process highlighting physical activity and even a sporting challenge!

"Theory versus Reality", an audiovisual testimony by Dr Nanethida Nouanesengsy of the therapeutic education association Asalée Polynésie. This testimony full of humour and gravity shows the importance for general practitioners to consider the cultural and social determinants of health during their consultations with patients.

View a full playlist of all WHO Health for All Film Festival past winners here.

How to participate?

Attention: Limited number of places! Reservation essential (https://events.iarc.who.int/event/102/)

Films in French and English. Discussion in French without English interpretation.

Reception in the IARC building from 5:30 p.m. to obtain an entry badge upon presentation of an identity document and based on reservations already made.

25, avenue Tony Garrnier – Lyon 7e – Métro Stade de Gerland Le Lou. The auditorium opens at 6 p.m. and the session begins at 6:30 p.m. sharp. After the session, an informal discussion from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. will be possible for participants available who wish to participate. Live broadcast in French on the WHO Youtube channel from 6:30 p.m. to 7:45 p.m. CET

[privmu]

ANDREA ELISA BEISTE

AGE: 35

BIRTHDAY: December 21st, 1988

RELATION: Adopted sibling

TYPE: Solo

GENDER: Cis female

PRONOUNS: She/hers/her

ORIENTATION(S): Fluid

FACE CLAIM: Stefania Spampinato

JOB/SCHOOL

JOB: Sex therapist & Psychology professor

ALUMNI?: Alumni 

ABOUT

Andrea was born in Sicily, Italy to an Italian father and an American mother, Alicia, who was on a study abroad program and got pregnant with her after a one night stand. They moved back to America when she was 4 years old, after Alicia spent some time so Andrea could know her culture better. Alicia told her from a young age that she did not know who her father was, but that didn’t matter since they had each other. She was content to just be with her mother, who deeply cared for her and worked hard to provide a life for her. They moved next door to her mother’s brother, Sheldon who and Andrea was happy to be able to play with her cousins who lived nearby. She saw Sheldon as a father figure, not caring much she once called him aunt. She gave dirty looks to those who insulted him. They were all a family and loved each other and that’s what mattered.

When Andrea was 13, her life changed in an instant. One night, her mother went out at night, leaving her at home. Her mother always told her when she would came back. However one night, her mother was killed in a car accident. She was devastated and didn’t know what to do when the cops came knocking on the door to tell her the news. Luckily, Sheldon lived right next door and came over and helped out immediately. In her will, she left Sheldon as the sole guardian of Andrea. Sheldon welcomed her with open arms and didn’t treat her any differently from his own children. While she missed her mother, she was glad that she was adopted into Sheldon’s family rather than being sent to live with people she didn’t know. However, Andrea still was grieving heavily and wore dark clothing to reflect her grief. She fell into the wrong crowd, and soon found herself shoplifting. the act giving her a rush of emotions she couldn’t even explain. It wasn’t until she stole a $400 pair of sunglasses, where the store owns brought charges to her. She got away with community service and was sent to therapy by Sheldon. It helped, talking about her feelings and she found cooking and painting as an outlet for her grief.

Andrea wasn’t sure what she wanted to major in college, but she knew wanted to honor her mother’s wish of her going to college longer than she did. She also knew she wanted to help people like how her therapist helped her. It was her freshman year where she took a Human Sexuality course and became fascinated. She declared it as her major, and eventually went on to get her doctorate in psychology, with a focus on human sexuality, helping couples and individuals with their sex life and sexuality. She loves her job, even when people give her questioning looks when she tells them what she does for a living.

[privilege-rpg]

ANDREA BEISTE

☆ FULL NAME: Andrea Elisa Bieste ☆ GENDER: Ciswoman ☆ PRONOUNS: She/Her ☆ AGE: 35 (December 5th, 1988) ☆ TYPE: Adopted sibling; solo ☆ HOMETOWN: Chicago, Illinois ☆ JOB: Sex Therapist; Human Sexuality Professor at PSU ☆ SCHOOL: PSU Alumni ☆ SEXUALITY: Fluid ☆ FACECLAIM: Stefania Spampinato

ABOUT ANDREA

Tw: Parental death, car accidents

Andrea was born in Sicily, Italy to an Italian father and an American mother, Alicia, who was on a study abroad program and got pregnant with her after a one night stand. They moved back to America when she was a baby, after her mom tried to find where her mother dropped out of college and raised her on her own. Alicia told her from a young age that she did not know who her father was, but that didn’t matter since they had each other. She was content to just be with her mother, who deeply cared for her and worked hard to provide a life for her. They moved next door to her mother’s cousin, Sheldon who and Andrea was happy to be able to play with her cousins who lived nearby. She saw Sheldon as a father figure, not caring much she once called him aunt. She gave dirty looks to those who insulted him or were mean to him. They were all a family and loved each other and that’s what mattered.

When Andrea was 13, her life changed in an instant. One night, her mother went out at night, leaving her at home. Her mother always told her when she would came back. However one night, her mother was killed in a car accident. She was devastated and didn’t know what to do when the cops came knocking on the door to tell her the news. Luckily, Sheldon lived right next door and came over and helped out immediately. In her will, she left Sheldon as the sole guardian of Andrea. Sheldon welcomed her with open arms and didn’t treat her any differently from his own children. While she missed her mother, she was glad that she was adopted into Sheldon’s family rather than being sent to live with people she didn’t know.

Andrea wasn’t sure what she wanted to major in college, but she knew wanted to honor her mother’s wish of her going to college longer than she did. Her freshman year, she took a Human Sexuality course and became fascinated. She declared it as her major and eventually went on to get her doctorate in psychology, with a focus on human sexuality, helping couples and individuals with their sex life and sexuality. She loves her job, even when people give her questioning looks when she tells them what she does for a living. 

FAMILY BACKGROUND

Sheldon Beiste did not have an easy life growing up as a closeted transgender man in Milwaukee. He always felt like a misfit and wrong somehow, but that didn’t stop him working towards his life goals. After suffering a bad ACL injury in college, Sheldon’s dreams of (then) being the first female quarterback for the Green Bay Packers went up in smoke, but that didn’t deter him. Instead he changed his college major and became a football coach, starting with his home team of the Milwaukee Badgers and gradually building a reputation as a tough, no-nonsense kind of a coach. His success with the Badgers lead to more and more opportunities and eventually he coached the Chicago Bears to their 1986 Superbowl win. He settled as the Bears coach in Illinois for a little while and met his first husband, finding himself pregnant, deciding a little stability would be the right thing to do for his family.

After divorcing his first husband, Sheldon had a couple of other boyfriends but never really settled with another man, far more concerned with his children and their wellbeing than he was with his own romantic life. Being a dad was by far a greater achievement than any football tournament, and after two consecutive Superbowl wins with the 49ers in San Fransico, Sheldon retired from coaching to focus on his family instead. It was a few years later that Sheldon realised that all these weird and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about his body weren’t normal insecurities that women had, and finally admitted to himself to that he was, in fact, a transgender man.

He didn’t care about anyone’s opinions on his gender other than his children, and thankfully they loved him just the same as “dad” as they had as “mom”. Sheldon did experience some initial backlash in terms of his career, but eventually landed himself a sports correspondent job on CNN. That involved into his own sports radio talk show The Beiste Is Loose, before eventually turning into a late night talk show host for The Late Late Show. He still talks about football as much as he can, but he enjoys sharing his homespun sayings with his guests and being “the friendliest face in late night television”.

[kilosch]

Journal Entry: 10/03/2024

Morning Routine & Drive to DTLA: Woke up and followed the same routine—attended the 8 a.m. meeting from bed, still feeling drained. Slowly, I started to gain some motivation, got dressed, and grabbed a homemade cold coffee. Once the meeting ended, I drove to Downtown LA. The drive was surprisingly quick—about 30 minutes since traffic was light.

Running into Ruby & Providing Security: When I parked, I got “ambushed” by Ruby in the parking lot. She had a visit to attend, so it made sense she was there. I went inside, saw Michael RN and Danel RN, but no Occupational Therapists like Lauren or Nessa. It was a bit quieter than usual without them around. I ended up volunteering to provide some security for Ruby and Danel as they walked through Skid Row. Not sure why—maybe because I carry weapons with me all the time? They don’t know that, though. Afterward, I stayed in the office, catching up on referrals and CTC paperwork.

Jollibee Lunch & PC 832 Time-Off Approved: For lunch, I decided to ride an electric scooter to Jollibee, which was a bit of a hassle but worth it. Afterward, I returned to the office and officially requested time off for October 21-25 for my PC 832 course at Golden West College in Huntington Beach. Elisa approved the request but mentioned it would overlap with Ruby’s absence, meaning the team would be without an EMT that week.

Meeting, Traffic, & Messages from Lauren and Nessa: Attended the 3:30 p.m. meeting, and afterward, I started heading home—traffic was a nightmare. Just as I was about to clock out, Lauren sent me a message saying goodbye for the week since she’ll be out of the office. She reminded me to practice self-care over the weekend—telling me to run or play video games. I sarcastically replied, “Nahhh,” and we had a short text conversation where she asked how I was doing. I was honest with her, like I always try to be.

At the same time, I texted Nessa to see how she was doing. She mentioned she’s taking time off in November and December to visit NYC and maybe Egypt (which makes sense since she’s half-Egyptian). She was happy to hear I’m moving on to become a cop, and she even called me a “kind and caring person,” which caught me off guard. I’ve never really heard that kind of compliment before. I offered my support, letting her know I’m only a call away if she ever needs anything. Her response was playful, saying it was okay if I ghosted her, which made me nervous. I reassured her I wouldn’t, telling her she’s a remarkable person. I wanted to ask if she had plans this weekend but chickened out—I didn’t want to bother her if she was busy. Maybe I’ll ask tomorrow.

Dinner & Emotional Evening: I grabbed Chick-fil-A for dinner, but the rest of the night wasn’t easy. I ended up crying again, still carrying a lot of guilt over my best friend’s passing. It feels like this weight I can’t shake. Despite the heaviness, I’m trying to focus on getting back into shape, especially with the police academy and medical exams coming up. I just hope I can start feeling better mentally soon.

[nathank77]

7/27/24

3 p.m Edited/Added to

I do think it's you but I can't be delusional and assume it means you're in love with me. I want to believe. All the coincidences. There are so many. I wish I didn't have psychosis. It makes me think I'm looking for something. That's the problem cause it's rational to believe that you have feelings for me. It's also rational to believe that all the coincidences are exactly that coincidences and that my brain wants to create an intricate web that forms meaning. Meaning to stick around through this hell and fight this illness..

I don't want to die. I don't want to kill myself. The core of my being wants to fight but then I look around and all I've got is this body that I love. And the person that I am. And I look everywhere else and everything else says there isn't a fucking point, your brain is broken fucked up anatomy that will never recover and look at, "your people."

And then I think but there will never be another Nathan. Not this Nathan and I love myself.

And my brain doesn't want to die. I don't want to die. Yea I feel a disconnection from my brain cause it calls me my birth name every single day and it talks. I feel a disconnection from it entirely. I don't identify with the voice or the broken pieces.

I identify with my body. With my image. With the good and bad parts of me. I identify with the vessel per-say but not the broken anatomy. I feel a disconnection between my soul and my anatomy and a connection all at the same time.

I don't want to die, so is it rational to assume that my brain even with psychosis especially with psychosis wants to give me a delusional belief pattern that is believable based on external factual circumstances? Yes it is.

The voice never wanted me to kill myself. It always told me to stop before I pulled the trigger. It even said only 500000000000000000000000000000 times I don't want you to kill yourself. The I don't want you to kill yourself was clear as day. The many times it stopped me, the sound of the voice and it "guiding" me to stop and not kill myself was clear as day. As it also pushed me to the ledge. That's the fucked part. Cause it also pushed me to the ledge yet told me not to do it.

The voice was so fixated on you-why? You'd be a fool to think that the idea of Elise Blanchette wasn't the reason I didn't kill myself in October and November. I didn't love myself then. I did before then. I was terrified. Fucking terrified at the beginning.

And the only thing that kept me here during those months was the idea of Elise Blanchette. Then through the months of November to Feb when you changed something, that idea helped keep me here.

The voice only calls you Elisa and it used to call you that and Elise Blanchette. It said when it had more of a voice, "I call her Elisa bc she may never talk to you and you may hear Elisa for the rest of your life."

When Feb happened Elise Blanchette died. It didn't say it anymore idk what it turned into cause it had to turn into some other word or phrase. All I know is it only said elisa when I thought about you and mostly just, "you're thinking about Elisa" cause it always wants to play off my thoughts and make me hallucinate more and shit.

I got a lot of reasons to believe it was you and it's not delusional. A LOT of reasons.

Yet as much as I want to die I don't want to die and Elise Blanchette saved me. Just the idea of her with no follow through. That's why I made it to December.

So that's where I stand I truly believe you're here but when I say it could be an intricate web to keep me alive. It really could. That love story kept me breathing. That made up love story is why I'm here typing this right now.

[littleharpethcrossfit]

Thursday, 25 December, 2024.

The ice is gone, melted by a warm rain. We will workout at the Barn Thursday, but we will likely be enjoying the same warm rain at 4 PM.

Every effort will be taken to do the following exercises under cover.

Note: The rain stopped just before 4 PM. I blew the puddles off the mats and away we went.

Warmup

Scap Pull-Ups

Dislocates

Scap Push-Ups

Strength

5 Power Cleans (Touch & Go) E2M X 5 Sets

(70 To 80%)

Bernie/Chase=185 Ed=165 Dana=125 Herb=120 Tom=100 Coach=95 Joe/Sue=85 Shannon/Kayla/Linda=65 WG/Sam/Tim/Alicia/Charrita/Elisa=no score

WOD

5 Rounds

10 Sumo Deadlift High Pulls (70/53/35 KB)

15 Pushups

20 Ab-Mat Sit-Ups

Run 400 / Row-Ski 500 / Bike 1000m

Chase=17:50 WG=18:41 Dana=20:00 Sue=20:53 Sam/Kayla=21:23 Kayla=21:23 Bernie=21:35 Ed=22:05 Herb=22:22 Tom=23:36 Joe=24:20 Tim=25:00 Shannon=26:11 Coach=27:15 Elisa/Alicia/Charrita=no score.

Notes:

Wine and snacks will follow inside the Barn. Don't be shy about contributing. Bringing food and drink is not required, but if you attend for 6 months empty-handed, someone might notice.

I counted 8 bottles of red wine. Most were well above Costco level. A single bottle of quality white wine was concealed in a remote cooler in anticipation of Timmy asking for it (Tim often-times goes overtime with strength and stretching after-which his favorite white wine is gone). Timmy took the dirty glasses home on our last wine tasting 2 weeks ago and hand washed them, hence he got special treatment tonight. I understand that our more constant glass washers will feel under appreciated, but the management doesn't take anyone's contributions without feeling a debt of thankfulness.

Snacks were in abundance, while meal substitutes were in short supply. We had lots of chips, veggies, and dips, nuts and cheeses. Even rare chocolates. But alas, no hamburger soup, no lasagna, or even those white pasta slimy packages with meat inside that Kayla brings. Miss Linda bought Costco frozen pigs in a blanket today which I thought certainly would arrive all warmed up with mustard to dip them in, but no glory. Cherrita was going out for a massive burger. I'm going to bed hungry after this.

Since the disparate parties cannot get together, our tiny gym never could agree on a single hour in place of the two hour workout times on weekends. So your old coach remains committed to trying to keep everyone happy (except him) and have one weekend class with 4 people, and a later class with 18 people. I wish you guys didn't act like Democrats and Republicans.

Saturday at 0730 an 0930.

[return-to-twisted-wonderland]

🌸 Anon

Once Upon a December(Made this while it’s still December here)

Takes place around winter break and Elisa gets to first arrive at the island of woe with her brothers

[At the mirror chamber, every student around her were heading back to their homes for the break. Elisa luckily got this chance to say good bye to her friends(okay she did hug a couple of them) and will at least try to stay in contact with them over break, so once everything she needed to say was done(She know Grim will be in good hands since apparently he actually doesn’t seem comfortable with the idea of leaving Ramshackle behind for that long, Elisa however is glad at least Grim would not be left alone). She had to follow after her brothers, step into the mirror into where their home is. The place where Elisa had lived in before she been taken to earth due to a certain incident. The moment they headed for the mirror, it was quick. One moment she was in mirror chamber, the next. A completely different place. Buildings that reminded Elisa of Greek structures from Earth, some kind of large tower that seemed to almost reach the sky but not quite. This place is the island of woe]

Elisa: This place

[At first and even before getting back to Twisted Wonderland. When it came to her memories before earth, she can only remember her brothers and their first names(she would have no recollection of their last name until she both asked about it and later remembered it) even what they were like but even than their appearance and even faces were fuzzy(but Elisa would know the moment she sees her brothers she will know it’s them, and she did. Her memories of them even became clearer too) Nothing about what their parents were like, nothing where they had came from, the only other that came close was………a certain incident that caused that bright light to somehow take her to earth. Only when returning to Twisted Wonderland and her time at Night Raven College, did she began to have clearer recollection of her time with her brothers. Where memories of her past slowly came back of course they were mostly centered around both Idia and Ortho. She had a tiny handful of glimpses of seeing hers and her brothers’ parents but those glimpses were not enough to give Elisa a clear picture of who exactly they are or heck what they are even like(Were they nice and good parents or…………). Even the environment or what technically considered to be their home in her memories were not as vivid or clear as her brothers in those memories. This very moment right now changed that]

Elisa: I know this place

[Everything around her, it was like her memories regarding the island of woe began to shine out from the long fog her mind been clouded with regarding it. Memories more vivid or clear. Elisa could not help but to look around, let herself follow the path towards the glowing embers of her memories. herself humming a melody “Once upon a December” as everywhere she looked, she can see a memory of her past connected to it. And wandered away from both Idia and Ortho too when doing this]

Idia, looks at her: Do you need some time?

Ortho, comes floating over to her side: Eli?